Lately, I’ve been talking with a few clients — and more than one admitted they were experiencing something unexpected: a fear of success .
At first, it sounds strange. Why would we fear the very thing we’re working toward? But I could relate, because I’ve felt it too — that moment when you’re on the edge of a new step, and instead of excitement, you freeze.
Research shows that for some of us, success can feel like stepping into unknown territory. It might bring new responsibilities, higher expectations, or even shifts in how others see us. Sometimes, though, it’s not just about work or career. Success can be in anything — including relationships. Our brain may be stuck replaying past memories, failed connections, or traumas we’re carrying. And that can make us fearful of moving forward into something good, simply because it feels unfamiliar or risky.
I’ve noticed — in myself and in my clients — that often the fear of success is tied to perfectionism . It’s not that we don’t believe we can succeed; it’s that we’re afraid it won’t match the ideal in our heads. And when that happens, we forget to celebrate the small, powerful steps we’ve already taken.
Psychologists call this “shifting the goalposts” — raising the bar every time we achieve something, which keeps us chasing and never arriving. What helps?
- Define what success means to YOU. It could be healing a relationship, showing up authentically, or building your career.
- Celebrate the small wins. A daily progress boosts motivation and confidence.
- Reframe the fear. Instead of “What if I succeed and can’t handle it?”, try “What if I succeed and grow into the person who can?”
Yes, the road might be long. But once you’re in the doing , momentum carries you, and everything feels more possible.
So next time fear whispers, “What if you make it?” — smile and whisper back, “What if I do?”
