אמון, אמונה ולתת ליקום להדריך אותנו
אחד הדברים שאני מרבה לדון בהם עם הלקוחות שלי הוא ההבדל בין מה שאנחנו יכולים לשלוט בו לבין מה שאנחנו לא. אנחנו לא יכולים לשלוט באופן שבו אנשים אחרים חושבים, מרגישים או פועלים. אנחנו לא יכולים לאלץ מישהו להיות אמין, ואנחנו לא יכולים להבטיח שאחרים יתייחסו אלינו כפי שאנחנו מקווים. אבל הנה האמת המעצימה: אנחנו יכולים לשלוט באופן שבו אנחנו מגיבים, בגבולות שאנחנו מציבים ובאמון שאנחנו נותנים בעצמנו.
הבנה זו היא המקום שבו מתחיל אמון - קבלת מה שאנחנו לא יכולים לשנות והתמקדות במה שאנחנו כן יכולים לשנות.
אמון בעולם מורכב
בעולם של היום, מציאת הקשרים הנדירים שבהם אנו מרגישים בטוחים לחלוק את חיינו יכולה להרגיש כמעט בלתי אפשרית. אני שומעת את זה בכל מקום - חברים, משפחה ואפילו הילדים שלי. זה נוגע ללב שלי כשהילדים שלי מדברים על הקושי למצוא אמון בחברויות. מתבגרים שאני פוגשת כיועצת חולקים תחושות דומות של בדידות וחרדה חברתית. עם זאת, ראיתי שבניית אמון ויצירת קשרים יכולים לשנות את עולמם.
I remember my own early experience with trust when I started high school. My best friend at the time, Gali, became such an important part of my life that I decided to name my daughter after these memories. I still remember the notes we exchanged as teenagers: “Together forever, together we are.” Though our lives have taken completely different paths, I know that if I saw her today, the trust we shared 36 years ago would still feel as strong as ever.
It’s not just about old friendships—my family and childhood friends hold a special place in my heart. I trust them deeply, love them unconditionally, and would do anything for them.
לבטוח ביקום ולאמץ את האמונה
But what happens when life takes you out of your “safe place”? When you’re far from the familiar people and culture that shaped you? How do you trust those who don’t share your language, background, or upbringing?
Here’s what I’ve learned: Trust is about more than just people—it’s about faith. Faith in yourself, faith in your values, faith in others, and faith that the universe brings the right people into your life at the right time no matter where they're from. Every person we meet has something to teach us, even those who hurt or challenge us.
When we let go of the need to control everything, we open ourselves to learning, growth, and deeper connections. The universe has a way of guiding us to the people and experiences we need most—if we trust it to do so.
But I have to be honest—after October 7, I felt like I lost my faith. How can I trust the universe when it allows so much pain and suffering? It’s a question I still wrestle with. In those moments, I’ve realized that trusting doesn’t always come easily or naturally.
What I’ve come to understand is that faith isn’t about blind belief—it’s about choosing to hope despite uncertainty. It’s about acknowledging that we can’t control everything, but we can look for meaning, growth, and connection even in the hardest times.
When I let go of the need to understand or control the “why” behind life’s challenges, I open myself to small moments of grace. It might be the kindness of a stranger, the love of a friend, or the resilience I see in myself and others. These moments remind me that the universe has a way of guiding us, even when the path feels impossible to see.
Rebuilding faith is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with time, reflection, and a willingness to embrace life’s lessons, I believe trust can return—stronger, wiser, and more resilient.
Boundaries: The Foundation of Trust
Trust also needs boundaries. Be clear about what matters most to you in relationships—whether with friends, family, or a partner—and set those boundaries from the start. Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out; they’re about creating safe spaces where trust can thrive.
Here are a few tips for setting healthy boundaries:
- Communicate Clearly: Let others know what you need and expect in a relationship.
- Respect Your Limits: Don’t compromise on what’s most important to you.
- Be Consistent: Boundaries only work when they’re upheld over time.
- If someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries or disrespects your values, it’s okay to let them go. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever, and that’s perfectly fine.
Self-Awareness: What Experience Teaches Us
Trust also begins with self-awareness.
Reflect on your own journey:
- What have you learned from your experiences?
- How have past relationships shaped your understanding of trust?
- Each connection—good or bad—teaches us something valuable about ourselves. When we take the time to process these lessons, we can better navigate future relationships with clarity and confidence.
- And remember, if you never try, you’ll never know. Taking a chance on trust is an act of courage, even when it feels scary. Every leap of faith is a step toward growth, even if it doesn’t turn out as planned.
Trust Starts with You
Ultimately, trust begins within. When you trust yourself—your instincts, your values, and your ability to make decisions—you create a solid foundation for every other relationship.
One way to cultivate this trust is by checking if your heart and mind are aligned. When your feelings and thoughts are in harmony, you often feel a sense of clarity and peace. It’s like an internal signal telling you, “This feels right.”
If something feels “off” or if there’s a disconnect between your emotions and your logic, it’s worth exploring further. Ask yourself:
- Am I ignoring red flags because I want to believe the best in someone?
- Am I overthinking and letting fear cloud my judgment?
When your heart and mind align, you’re better equipped to make choices that honor your values and protect your well-being. And when they don’t, that’s your intuition telling you to pause and reflect. Trust this process—it’s your inner compass guiding you.
Faith in Action: Letting Go and Moving Forward
Sometimes, the hardest part of trust is letting go. Whether it’s a relationship that ends or an opportunity that slips away, faith teaches us that what’s meant for us will never miss us.
When trust is broken, take time to heal. Acknowledge the pain, but don’t let it define you. Each new relationship is a fresh chance to grow, learn, and connect.
Closing Thoughts
Trust is the bridge that connects us, and it begins with the courage to take that first step. Have faith in yourself, trust the universe, and embrace the lessons every connection brings.
As I learned from Gali all those years ago, “Together forever, together we are.” Trust isn’t always easy to build, but it’s worth it. Start with yourself, honor your boundaries, and let the universe take care of the rest.
