How many times have we felt frustrated and hopeless because someone did not agree with us or did not respect our opinion about something and began to shout or simply disconnected from us? I’m sure you’ve been in situations like this before. I thought I’d raise this briefly here and get your thoughts on the topic of conflict, whether we can truly have what we want in this world, and how our lifestyle and goals affect our behavior in society, work, and family. What does this have to do with our family, and how can we solve it?
Do you really always get what you want?
There are a variety of lifestyles that can influence how we think, behave, and act in the world, as well as our desire to achieve our goals. I’ll provide some examples below:
I deserve everything, and my life will be full only when I get what I really want. A person truly lives his life with the belief that he should always get what he desires, and if he is unable to get it, is he not worthy?
Others will adopt a “Being right” lifestyle, which can severely damage relationships and families. I am correct, which means I am worthy of and have a place in this world! Because I am correct, I am superior to everyone else. This issue becomes crucial in a person’s life!
Others have different lifestyles that can result in conflict, such as a person who believes he must accomplish as many things as possible quickly. This individual will be constantly stressed and may miss opportunities to interact with others. A person in control can produce the same results because needs to know everything ahead of time. If he is unaware of what is happening, unpleasant events may occur, which he wishes to avoid. This individual may, however, miss out on other aspects of life, such as creativity and interpersonal relationships.
There are various other lifestyles that an individual may adopt, including being the best! I am not trying to compromise for being average. Alternatively, am I required to be perfect? to attain the highest level of acting or singing. or to be the niceset person who is constantly in need of love and relies on others to make him feel important and valued.
Or, alternatively, A person will choose to be constantly antagonistic because he thinks others are stupid. This individual is fearful that others will discover he is nothing. Others will sympathize with a person who chooses to be a victim, and no one will criticize him while he’s in pain. Or some men will choose to remain a “baby” in this world, obtaining what they desire through their charm and being looked after by a nice lady.
These are just a few examples of lifestyles that people choose to live, and a lot of it has to do with how they were raised, their culture, different experiences, heritage, and other factors that can influence a person’s desire to get what he wants. a person will choose his unique way to feel “belong” to his family, work, and society.
Another factor is the objective/purpose for which we are striving. What will a child do in order to feel a sense of belonging to a family, a group? Most often, the objectives are incorrect and damaging, such as being superior and the best, and I must compete with others. As parents, we are unaware that this may be a misguided goal; in fact, we support it. Later in life, a child will develop an ingrained sense of constant survival and the need to demonstrate that he is always superior to everyone.
What is the connection between family conflicts and the outside world?
According to Alfred Adler, one of the universal principles is equality and the freedom to do whatever we want, and everything we say is our truth – a subjective approach. There is no single truth, and we cannot impose it on others. like a father who uses physical force to get his child to listen to him The father, on the other hand, maybe unaware that his child has his own truth. difficult to accept? Well, a person cannot say that he is correct, but he can say that this is how he sees things. 
In the family, which is the first “organisation” to which we were exposed as children, we should have a democracy (not like in politics), but the opportunity to allow people to have different points of view and perspectives on how to live together with respect. When we have a real democracy and recognize that each of us has a different reality and truth, we can build good relationships.
Most of us would like to create a good atmosphere at home and being able to solve conflicts has a lot to do with it.
We should have first of all relationship of respect, without it a good family atmosphere cant exist.
How to solve conflicts
We have complete freedom to make our own decisions. We will treat someone else’s mistakes as we would our own. We sometimes blame others, which adds to the conflict. As previously stated, in order to change the atmosphere in the house, we must learn to respect one another, and the parent serves as a model. The children will learn from their parents and from the family environment. We can’t tell our children not to fight when we’re fighting. When we want to get out of a fight, there are a few steps we should consider:
1. We must become aware that our self-esteem has been harmed, and we must accept responsibility for this by attempting to understand why this occurred and where it harmed us.
2. recover from the pain – I can recover and heal myself because I’m taking responsibility, I’m brave, and I won’t hurt others because that will lead to more conflicts.
I’m regaining my self-esteem and worthlessness, and I don’t need the approval of others.
3. We will consider our personal goals and whether we need to change or abandon them in order to have a better relationship.
4. We will have a conversation, and instead of my goal of telling how bad it was for me, I will change it to a goal of understanding the other side, and I will listen to his/her subjective and be patient, I will ask, and I will accept responsibility. I’m no longer on autopilot, which is harming my worthlessness. I’ll let the conflict resolve itself and feel better about it.
Sometimes we need to apologize and correct, or perhaps we need to turn a complaint into a request, and always focus on the positive and cheering, and we might not have gotten into a conflict in the first place.
5. In a discussion about expectations, the expectation basically states that we are open to respectful relationships, and it functions as a communication tool and a “contract.” When our expectations are as clear as possible, the likelihood of a conflict decreases. In an autocratic world, only one person has the authority to tell others what to do, but now everyone has the right to express themselves. When our relationships are good and your child understands the rules and that everyone in the house follows them, he will cooperate. If this contract was not applied for some reason, try adjusting it again. Kids adore their parents, and all they want is to work together and feel like they belong.
Everyone’s right
In this post, I wanted to address that most of us believe we are right. This thought was related to our lifestyle, goals, upbringing, and other factors.
The good news is that we can only resolve conflicts if we are willing to respect each other and accept that each of us may be right. We can set expectations and start a conversation that will improve our relationships at home, socially, and professionally.
Which example would you like to give your child when you see the connection of having a conflict related to our education at home?
So, now that you know everyone is correct, how do you feel about it?