A new life begins

In the midst of recent events and a general sense of mistrust, worry, and loss, I decided to write again.

Yes, I am Jewish, and yes, I am an Israeli. I’m proud of my identity, but I can say that after this event, the trauma of the holocaust just knocked on the doors of many people. The antisemitism rose and the fear aroused.

After October 7th, I felt emptiness and sorrow; I couldn’t concentrate, work, or do anything. I don’t feel this platform is the appropriate place to discuss this horrible event, and I don’t believe in hatred. My predictive brain could not update itself as nothing like that ever happened. It’s beyond understanding.
The whole purpose of this platform was to inspire people, yet I found myself once again in a dark hole from which I had no clue how to escape. I tried meditation, yoga, and audio reading, but nothing helped!! Until this morning…

 

Are the grounding techniques ineffective?

In earlier postings, I offered a few techniques for dealing with stress, finding our centre, and just being. But now, after trying everything, I’ve learned that time is beyond anything. It’s not that somatic breathing or exercises didn’t help; I’m sure I’d be a lot worse without them!

We are always seeking ways to soothe ourselves and reach this level of contentment. Who wants to be unhappy for many weeks? Being under persistent stress is also bad for us! I lost faith in humanity, and I lost faith in myself! As previously said, I practiced yoga, reflected, walked, and chatted with others, but nothing helped. I didn’t want it, but I had a strange sensation in my stomach that lasted for weeks. I was feeling down.

I wanted to scream, but I kept myself together for the sake of my daughters. I didn’t want to expose kids to it, even though they were already aware of it via social media, and we addressed it at home in a very sensitive manner. I couldn’t sit still, so I took action. I initiated a few events with the theme of hope. We sang songs of hope and prayed for peace; I wept it out, but the sensation of emptiness remained. What is lacking?

A strawberry came to life

I saw it this morning while strolling about the garden to see what was new.

I’ve opted to focus on my garden as one of my grounding methods for coming out of my feelings of emptiness. I got some flowers, pulled some weeds, and my girls and I improved the garden. I felt a bit more accomplished, and it was still pleasant to watch the flowers and tomatoes flourish. But it wasn’t until this morning that I noticed the most exquisite strawberry. It was little, innocent, and bright red. I stared at it in disbelief, and then I felt it! My heart filled with joy!!!

How is it that a single plant can make me so happy?

Then, as expected, my brain began to function…how could this be? You’re probably imagining, go back to your hole. But I dismissed my thoughts and continued to stare at this gorgeous strawberry that had come to life. I was surprised it would live since I’m not a great gardener!

Then I learned that time makes all the difference. When we are ready to let go and go forth. The healing will occur at the right place and time. The only thing we should keep in mind throughout this process is our hope!

I wish you all the best in finding hope inside your heart and praying for peace for everybody. And let us all say, Amen.