Navigating Life as a Single Mum: My Story and a Message of Hope
Hi, I’m Vered, a mum of two teenage girls.
I moved to Australia with my family while I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, full of hope and excitement for a fresh start. I raised my girls with the values of Alfred Adler’s positive psychology, fostering independence, empathy, and resilience. Life was beautiful—until it wasn’t.
When my marriage fell apart, I found myself navigating the uncharted waters of single motherhood in a foreign country, without family or a support network to lean on. It was one of the most challenging times of my life.
We were fortunate to be welcomed into the home of a wonderful couple who gave us temporary shelter, but the road ahead was anything but easy. I faced court battles, the trauma of an abusive relationship, financial struggles, and the relentless responsibility of being both mum and dad to my daughters. At one point, I was juggling seven jobs just to keep us afloat, often feeling like I was running on empty.
But amidst the chaos, I held onto one goal: to be a stable, loving presence for my girls.
Eventually, I hit a breaking point. I realized that survival mode wasn’t sustainable. I needed more than just to “get by”—I needed to heal and rebuild, for myself and my daughters. Returning to my studies became a turning point. Through learning, mindfulness, and self-discovery, I found purpose and began to rewire my thoughts. Slowly, I started to heal.
Why I Share My Story
I share this story because I know how isolating and overwhelming this journey can be. If you’re navigating life as a single mum, I want you to know: you are not alone. 
Yes, it’s tough. Separation or divorce can feel like a loss—a death of dreams, routines, and sometimes, a part of yourself. Suddenly, you’re dealing with things you never had to handle before: bills, financial distress, endless responsibilities, and emotions that come crashing in—grief, frustration, and yes, anger.
Some of us are lucky enough to have supportive ex-partners who co-parent effectively, but many of us face uncooperative exes, adding layers of stress. And let’s be honest, there are moments when the pressure makes you want to scream—or you do.
But here’s what I’ve learned: while the journey is hard, it doesn’t have to define you.
The Desire for a Partner
Most of us didn’t just want children; we wanted a family—a partner, a father for our kids. Writing this, I feel like crying because, for so many of us, it didn’t happen the way we hoped. And while this post is for women, I know it’s not always one-sided. Sometimes it’s the woman who leaves the marriage, and sometimes men struggle too. Depression, anger, and the inability to cope with change can affect anyone.
But let’s focus on us for now.
How do we even think about meeting someone new amidst the chaos of single motherhood? How do we open ourselves to love again while juggling the responsibilities, the heartbreak, and the protective walls we’ve built around our hearts?
Sometimes, we feel a spark of excitement and think, Here we go! I can do it! If you’re lucky, the relationship might work long-term, or it might be just what you need for that moment in your life.
But is it the right thing? That’s for you to decide.
What I’ve learned is that before stepping into a new relationship, it’s crucial to strengthen yourself. Take the time to know exactly what you’re looking for and where your red lines are. The truth is, after separation, our minds aren’t always clear. We’re often still in survival mode, and our defensive systems are on high alert. It’s easy to fall into the illusion of perfection—the dream of a new partner who will complete you, make everything better, and fix the broken pieces.
But here’s the reality: No one else can do that for you.
It’s natural to crave warmth and support—it’s part of human attachment—but true healing comes from within. A new relationship should complement your life, not become your lifeline.
And then there’s the question of your new partner’s relationship with your kids—a layer of complexity that requires even more thought and patience.
So, my advice? Give yourself time. Love yourself first. Relationships take emotional availability and time, two things we often don’t have enough of when we’re in the thick of single motherhood.
A Few Lessons I’ve Learned
- Feel Your Emotions
It’s okay to mourn the loss and feel the anger. Suppressing it only prolongs the healing. Acknowledge your feelings and let yourself grieve—this is the first step toward moving forward. - Take Care of You
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Even small acts of self-care, like journaling, taking a walk, or meditating, can recharge you. - Set Boundaries
Whether it’s with your ex or the demands on your time, boundaries are essential. Decide what communication works best for you—maybe emails instead of stressful texts—and stick to it. - Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control your ex’s behavior, but you can control how you respond. Taking a deep breath and grounding yourself can make all the difference. - Build Your Village
Whether it’s friends, family, or an online community, find people who lift you up. A support system can make you feel less alone. - Embrace the Imperfections
You don’t have to be perfect—none of us are. It’s okay to make mistakes and to learn as you go. - Seek Professional Help If You Need It
Therapy or coaching can offer tools to manage stress and navigate the challenges of single parenting.
To All the Single Mums
Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Being a single mum in a foreign country, without a support network, is even harder. But you are not alone, and you don’t have to do it all at once.
I’ll be sharing more about my journey and practical tips on another platform soon because I believe this conversation is so important. I hope that it reaches the right eyes and reminds you that while the road may be tough, it is also a path to growth, resilience, and rediscovering your strength.
To all the single mums out there: You are strong. You are capable. You are enough.
With love,
Vered
*You’re not alone, and I’d love to help you find your way forward.
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Let’s do this together—because we mums deserve support, understanding, and empowerment. ❤️