This past week, I found myself deeply immersed in the complexities of a will—not just the legalities and documents following my father’s passing, but the emotional and spiritual legacy that lingers far beyond the material.
A will can outline property, assets, and financial matters. But what about the things that don’t get written down? The words spoken in passing. The unspoken expectations. The beliefs passed from one generation to the next. These, too, are inheritances—ones that shape us in ways we often don’t realize.
As I reflected on this, I found myself thinking not only about my father’s legacy but also about the stories I’ve heard from clients—and even my own parenting. I realized just how deeply words can imprint on us.
The Words We Absorb, The Stories We Carry
I’ve seen it time and time again—children who grow up hearing words that diminish them:
🔹 “You’re nothing. What are you even going to do with your life?”
🔹 “Oh you are so stupid, how can you don’t understand this math exercise?”
🔹 “You should be better. You should be doing more.”
And then, years later, these children—now adults—sit in front of me, struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and the feeling that they will never be enough.
But it isn’t just the harsh words that leave a mark. Sometimes, it’s the weight of expectations—the invisible pressures placed upon children to become something their parents envisioned for them.
🔹 The child expected to be a doctor because their parents were.
🔹 The child pushed to become a pilot because it was a family dream.
🔹 The child encouraged to play it safe, rather than follow their passions, because their parents feared failure.
How much do our parents’ expectations shape our path?
How often do we, as parents, unconsciously push our children into a role based on how we see them—rather than who they truly are?
Is It Really Our Choice?
There is a well-known teaching: “All is foreseen, but freedom of choice is given.”
But how free is our choice when the most dominant figures in our lives already define us in a certain way? Do they truly see us for who we are, or only through the lens of their own beliefs, fears, and dreams?
A child who grows up constantly praised for one specific talent may feel they have no right to explore anything else.
A child who is only seen through the lens of criticism may begin to believe that failure is inevitable.
Some children are lifted up. Others are held back.
But is that the final word on their destiny?
Or can they rewrite their own story?
The Legacy We Leave—Beyond Words
This is something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately.
What are we really passing down—whether through explicit words or silent expectations?
As parents, teachers, and mentors, we don’t just give our children a future. We shape how they see themselves.
We have the power to create an inheritance of empowerment—one that isn’t about what they must become, but about who they truly are.
What Is Your Spiritual Will?
Take a moment to reflect. If you could leave behind a spiritual will—not of money, property, or status, but of wisdom—what would it say?
Would it empower your loved ones to be their fullest selves?
Would it give them permission to dream, to explore, to break free from expectations that no longer serve them?
🔹 What messages—spoken or unspoken—are you leaving as your legacy?
🔹 Are you truly seeing your children, your students, the next generation for who they are, or for who you expect them to be?
#Legacy #SpiritualWill #Parenting #Wisdom #SelfDiscovery